I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
