I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
How external is "for external use only"?
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Randomize
