What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
