don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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