Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
