Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
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