Midget sex pt 2 tonight
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
