He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
