I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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