Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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