508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
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