Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Randomize
