Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
