if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
