I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
