he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Randomize
