And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Randomize
