we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
