ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
