I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize
