My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
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