I wanna bring you to show and tell
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
His nipple licking is glorious
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