If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
