True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Randomize
