go do what you do best...puke behind churches
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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