i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
