You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
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