I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
