i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
Randomize
