My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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