Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
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