Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Its about making memories worth repressing
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
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Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
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I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
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