Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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