Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Randomize
