YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
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