How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
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There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
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It's no shave November. This is our time.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
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