Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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