I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
