Pappa wants mamma naked
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
