Someone shit on the floor
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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