Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
