i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize