I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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