Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
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