i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
