I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
Randomize
