i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Randomize
