I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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