This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
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