I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
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