I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
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Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
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I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
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