Say something about gay babies.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
