i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize
