no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
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