I'm laying in your front yard are you home
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
