It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
You're like the curious george of whores
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
