No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
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