You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Randomize
