I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
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