McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Randomize
