"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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