me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
