Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
