Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Randomize
